Draft

Tada...Nothing to say.. Well.. 

Whenever I think of some particular thing, I feel so down I cant even control my emotion. It's like I will never ever get rid of it. 

My family is the one I love but not trust. not the only one though. I dont easily trust people once they hurt me. I value honesty. Once you hurt me, if you happened to do it, there is a mark in my mind. They will always be there. It will fade a little and it will come again and again. It just gonna go deeper and darker. My family especially my mom do lied to me and others plenty times. To be specific, she just couldnt keep her promise. and i considered it as a lie. But i do love her cause she is my mom. She did a lot of things for us and still doing. Sometimes she just unintentionally(i hope it is) break her promises due to situation changes. I realised her 'pattern' when I was young as in middle childhood. So whenever I remember or whenever she makes her promise, I will ask her repeatedly if she could do it. She will answer,"well, it depends on this that this that'" Ahuh! So I will keep asking her this that this that. And when I am asking,I actually did not bother much about the outcome because I have already given myself a preparation. 

I think it same goes to relatives and friends without the asking session. Guess is because of my foundation of trust with my family causes this. 

And so I know, no one is perfect. and so I keep quiet. and so I let ppl do whatever they want to do to me. And so I know the world.